Jan. 1st, 2020
Dec. 14th, 2009
Dec. 10th, 2009
Dec. 7th, 2009
You've got to go straight ahead--
Nov. 30th, 2009
You were way out of line / Went and turned it all around on me again
Nov. 19th, 2009
"Vice is its own reward."
Fuck me gently. If sex is ever again as good as this was, I will be a very happy girl.
Time to cut back on the vices, maybe.
Nov. 18th, 2009
Daddy's got a headache. Normal cat and mouse play will be resumed later, when I feel like dealing with you fuckers.
Nov. 14th, 2009
"We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten."
Delivered to War. Accompanying the carefully-wrapped package is a note written in a spiky, energetic hand:
Gunda,
You're a peach for thinking of me, but unfortunately I don't have much use for your leavings. Use it in good health; I hear horse meat has health benefits.
Peace be with you,
D.
Gunda,
You're a peach for thinking of me, but unfortunately I don't have much use for your leavings. Use it in good health; I hear horse meat has health benefits.
Peace be with you,
D.
Nov. 12th, 2009
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
If having the High Lord Muckity Muck put a price on your head isn't an ego boost, then what is? Thanks, Gallus, for taking "free market" to a whole new level.
As for the rest of you... Try it. I dare you. In fact, if you're up front about it, you can even get a freebie.
As for the rest of you... Try it. I dare you. In fact, if you're up front about it, you can even get a freebie.
"What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be."
Nov. 11th, 2009
"Divorce is born of perverted morals and leads to vicious habits."
"Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you."
Spiffy words, but fuck this. I'm taking back the lost little lambs.
Spiffy words, but fuck this. I'm taking back the lost little lambs.
Nov. 10th, 2009
It's Just Like Us / When We're Together, There's No Trust
Nov. 8th, 2009
Poor Red Rover got bored and lonely without her widdle steed, eh? Fair enough. I'm sure being separated from one of the things that make you what you are has got to suck tailpipe.
So since I'm such a stand up kind of guy, you got me: It's true. It's all true. I cannot tell a lie. I was the gunman on the grassy knoll. I did chop down that cherry tree. I am the fucking walrus, goo goo g'joob.
And since I can feel a good number of you breathing hot and heavy to get in on this action, allow me to say fuck off. Private party, kids, so unless you got an invite to the shower, you're shit outta luck. The registry's there for a reason.
Mind your distance, you scheming sons of bitches. I am not a kind and merciful God. I do not love you. I will unmake you in ways that makes the horseless Horseman look like storytime.
But yeah, seriously, don't hesitate to check out the registries. Kid can't have enough materialistic love, y'know?
So since I'm such a stand up kind of guy, you got me: It's true. It's all true. I cannot tell a lie. I was the gunman on the grassy knoll. I did chop down that cherry tree. I am the fucking walrus, goo goo g'joob.
And since I can feel a good number of you breathing hot and heavy to get in on this action, allow me to say fuck off. Private party, kids, so unless you got an invite to the shower, you're shit outta luck. The registry's there for a reason.
Mind your distance, you scheming sons of bitches. I am not a kind and merciful God. I do not love you. I will unmake you in ways that makes the horseless Horseman look like storytime.
But yeah, seriously, don't hesitate to check out the registries. Kid can't have enough materialistic love, y'know?
Nov. 3rd, 2009
And if we are reflections of the divine / We must roll with these changes
Oct. 30th, 2009
"I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage."
Today, I go to church. For inspiration. It'll be fun.
( [Lust] )
( [Nuclear Power] )
( [Legal Services] )
( [Mona] )
( [Lust] )
( [Nuclear Power] )
( [Legal Services] )
( [Mona] )
Oct. 28th, 2009
[Laszlo] Wake up on Sunday morning / Everything feels so boring / Is that where it ends
"Boss" went wandering again. And I thought I had a fit of the wanderlust. Bit weird to worry, though, innit?
She left me with a stipend -- har har, very funnybitch -- and a to-do list. I'm to find a Veronica Chase come hell or high water. Cheating to hire an investigator, you think?
At least the weekend's creeping up. This on call routine is a load of nonsense, and I need a proper night on the town with a proper pretty face double-stat.Where's Mona's address book and what about that blonde from the shops
She left me with a stipend -- har har, very funny
At least the weekend's creeping up. This on call routine is a load of nonsense, and I need a proper night on the town with a proper pretty face double-stat.
Oct. 18th, 2009
"I wish someone would have told me that, just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married."
- New bitch-boy: Check.
- A delightful afternoon with a favored plaything: check.
- A week bouncing between family law offices before taking Benny's Jag to drive up to Maine: check and check.
All that and half a dozen more high-profile divorces in the news. Not bad, for a quick visit back East. Oh, and lest I forget...
- Clearing out that leased office uptown: check.
Des, darling, who is Ronnie Chase, and what hilariously degrading things were you putting her patients through? You really do owe me some gratitude for foresight -- imagine what the place would have looked like if I hadn't thought to have it ScotchGarded.
- A delightful afternoon with a favored plaything: check.
- A week bouncing between family law offices before taking Benny's Jag to drive up to Maine: check and check.
All that and half a dozen more high-profile divorces in the news. Not bad, for a quick visit back East. Oh, and lest I forget...
- Clearing out that leased office uptown: check.
Des, darling, who is Ronnie Chase, and what hilariously degrading things were you putting her patients through? You really do owe me some gratitude for foresight -- imagine what the place would have looked like if I hadn't thought to have it ScotchGarded.
Oct. 16th, 2009
[Laszlo] She's not of this Earth / And I believed we've seen the worst
[Locked from Mona]
She left me a voicemail and the security code to her building. Tookmy the Jag and left for parts unknown. Is that normal? This freelance attorney routine is strange as angels. On the plus side, that means I have the next who knows how long to myself, which is fantastic.
Bitch work is still a pain in the ass. Checking mail? Ferchrissakes. Oh, and the black envelope for "Divorce (Female)" is... well, let's just say that I'm starting to wonder if attorneys go to black masses or not. Fecking bizarre.
Probably ought to read whatever's inside, though. That bitch work, innit?
She left me a voicemail and the security code to her building. Took
Bitch work is still a pain in the ass. Checking mail? Ferchrissakes. Oh, and the black envelope for "Divorce (Female)" is... well, let's just say that I'm starting to wonder if attorneys go to black masses or not. Fecking bizarre.
Probably ought to read whatever's inside, though. That bitch work, innit?
Oct. 13th, 2009
Thank you, oh mysterious Internet benefactor for this piece of satire:
2010 California Marriage Protection Act PSA
"You're not dead yet" is fairly spot on. I hope the gay community gets some mileage out of this one, though rubbing it in the Great Omnipotent Church's face sounds considerably more fun.
Oh, and Des? I stopped by your old office in Manhattan. Quite the mess you left behind.
2010 California Marriage Protection Act PSA
"You're not dead yet" is fairly spot on. I hope the gay community gets some mileage out of this one, though rubbing it in the Great Omnipotent Church's face sounds considerably more fun.
Oh, and Des? I stopped by your old office in Manhattan. Quite the mess you left behind.
Suddenly my list of people to kill got about five million times longer. Shit. I'm going to need a day planner.
Hey, death gods. How did you guys allocate this kind of thing out? Strict quota of a hundred before breakfast, two hundred after breakfast, three hundred after lunch, etc.?
( [Comfort Food] )
Hey, death gods. How did you guys allocate this kind of thing out? Strict quota of a hundred before breakfast, two hundred after breakfast, three hundred after lunch, etc.?
( [Comfort Food] )
Oct. 9th, 2009
[Laszlo] Karma killer / Needless to say, I guess you know I hate you
"Let's go shopping," she says.
"It'll be fun," she says.
"For me," she says.
Two hours later, she has me carrying her lacy underthings and whatnots. What happened to leaving a man his pride? His dignity?
Oh, that's right. She's a fecking divorce attorney. Silly me.I'm never getting my money back.
Sent from my iPhone
"It'll be fun," she says.
"For me," she says.
Two hours later, she has me carrying her lacy underthings and whatnots. What happened to leaving a man his pride? His dignity?
Oh, that's right. She's a fecking divorce attorney. Silly me.
Sent from my iPhone
Oct. 5th, 2009
[Laszlo] "Food is the most primitive form of comfort."
Monday afternoon will see Mona's new mortal assistant, Laszlo, paying a visit to Comfort Food's brownstone. He'll be dropping off a letter from the boss, and perhaps paying a bit of tribute -- Laszlo craves the way normal people blink and breathe.
( Letter from Mona to CeCe. )
( Letter from Mona to CeCe. )
Oct. 2nd, 2009
"When you belong to a minority, you have to be better in order to have the right to be equal."
Texas judge clears way for gay divorce.
Ha! I knew it was just a matter of time, a matter of applying pressure to just the right place... All right, maybe not Texas, where a woman (nonetheless anyone audacious enough to be gay) isn't advised to be out and about unescorted, but the fact remains. It's a step in the right direction. Equal opportunity for everyone, and with marriage comes the inevitable.
I don't think I've smiled this much in months. Not quite time for celebration yet, but soon. Damned soon.
Ha! I knew it was just a matter of time, a matter of applying pressure to just the right place... All right, maybe not Texas, where a woman (nonetheless anyone audacious enough to be gay) isn't advised to be out and about unescorted, but the fact remains. It's a step in the right direction. Equal opportunity for everyone, and with marriage comes the inevitable.
[Laszlo] Where were you when you stole my pride / Did you ever get the feeling that someone died
Every. Single. Sodding. Thing. Gone.
The houses, the money, every damn thing but two cars... I was "allowed" to keep the Mustang, and my divorce attorney insisted on keeping the fucking Jag as payment. Funny, very funny.
And now I get to do "bitch work" to make up for a slip of the tongue. Rather hoped the woman was taking the piss out of me, but no, old Benny gets honest work for the first time in over a decade. What a laugh. What a goddamn laugh.
The houses, the money, every damn thing but two cars... I was "allowed" to keep the Mustang, and my divorce attorney insisted on keeping the fucking Jag as payment. Funny, very funny.
And now I get to do "bitch work" to make up for a slip of the tongue. Rather hoped the woman was taking the piss out of me, but no, old Benny gets honest work for the first time in over a decade. What a laugh. What a goddamn laugh.
Sep. 30th, 2009
Off to New York for a few days. There's some business to wrap up, and a case I'd like to lay hands on in person. Again. Does he ever stop? No? Good.
I've got energy to burn and then some, thank you, Christ. Who's heading out with me to cause some trouble? Things have been too well-behaved by far. I feel like breaking things.
I've got energy to burn and then some, thank you, Christ. Who's heading out with me to cause some trouble? Things have been too well-behaved by far. I feel like breaking things.
Sep. 22nd, 2009
And when I reach up to crack the sky wide open...
I haven't felt this good in months. Since April, really. Someone did a very bad thing, and oh, it feels incredible.
What's next?
( [Desmond] )
What's next?
( [Desmond] )
Let's have a war / Clean out this place
Well, that was a fun little exercise. Not nearly as hard as it could've been, either. Christ, ol' buddy, ol' pal, were you smiling down on me when I did the deed?
Now if I can yank apart a Horseman and their horse, how about an angel from Heaven? A demon from Hell?A Sin from everything but me? Any volunteers, baby dolls?
( [Nuclear Power] )
( [Lust] )
Now if I can yank apart a Horseman and their horse, how about an angel from Heaven? A demon from Hell?
( [Nuclear Power] )
( [Lust] )
Sep. 18th, 2009
Let's have a war / So you can go and die
Sep. 15th, 2009
You know it tears my heart out when you / Flirt with danger and any stranger
Fuck your Father, your Son, and your Holy Ghost.
You know that the new churches don't even teach about Satan and Hell anymore? That it's just The Big Scary Crime Boss In The Sky is all love and hugs and cupcakes for communion? I know. You're all rough, tough cream puffs right on your way out the celestial door. Your Old Testament is read by dying fanatics, and your new book is being rewritten by the deluded and the politically correct.
You're gonna be like the Aztecs pretty soon, like the Sumerians. Dusty bones, withered carcasses kept alive by a handful of historians and history books that are read by apathetic children. Impotent.
And oh, Christ, I'm gonna smile and smile when your time comes.
You know that the new churches don't even teach about Satan and Hell anymore? That it's just The Big Scary Crime Boss In The Sky is all love and hugs and cupcakes for communion? I know. You're all rough, tough cream puffs right on your way out the celestial door. Your Old Testament is read by dying fanatics, and your new book is being rewritten by the deluded and the politically correct.
You're gonna be like the Aztecs pretty soon, like the Sumerians. Dusty bones, withered carcasses kept alive by a handful of historians and history books that are read by apathetic children. Impotent.
And oh, Christ, I'm gonna smile and smile when your time comes.
Sep. 11th, 2009
[OOC] Notes To Self
Updated the How Divorce Senses Other Immortals/Gods post with Carnival and a couple of others. Getting Capital Punishment up there is an eventuality but promises to be fun. Can't seem to get a damned creative idea onto paper, so volunteers are welcome to try and help my stubborn brain. ♥
Sep. 10th, 2009
"Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage."
You'd think the damned headaches would have subsided by now, honestly.
Reggie, sweetheart? I thought you'd like to know that Hef's at it again. Small news is still news, no?
( [Envy] )
Reggie, sweetheart? I thought you'd like to know that Hef's at it again. Small news is still news, no?
( [Envy] )
Sep. 8th, 2009
Sep. 4th, 2009
Abortion foes turn on each other over the Operation Rescue name. Cute, and man at his finest -- squabbling over semantics rather than anything significant. Admittedly, what caught me was " 'In the evangelical world,' he said, 'the unforgivable sin is divorce.' ", but that's hardly a shocker. Forgive a girl for both rolling her eyes a bit and falling prey to her own vanity.
There was something else in the LA Times, an opinion piece, about divorce sometimes being beneficial for children and not always a product of infidelity. Mommy and Daddy could potentially make things better for the offspring by not warring with one another and just calling it quits.You think? Oh, hell, I sound like Desmond.
Sometimes the headache becomes greater than the rush. Sometimes it seems as though ascending to an ivory tower for some peace and quiet is a better idea than diving headfirst into the rabble. Or maybe it's just time to reconnect, ironic as that may sound.
( [Envy] )
There was something else in the LA Times, an opinion piece, about divorce sometimes being beneficial for children and not always a product of infidelity. Mommy and Daddy could potentially make things better for the offspring by not warring with one another and just calling it quits.
Sometimes the headache becomes greater than the rush. Sometimes it seems as though ascending to an ivory tower for some peace and quiet is a better idea than diving headfirst into the rabble. Or maybe it's just time to reconnect, ironic as that may sound.
( [Envy] )
Aug. 31st, 2009
"Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers."
For those days you just don't wanna get out of bed, some fun facts! Have I praised the God of the Internet yet? No? Well, you're okay, kid.
Long-term Australian couples favor divorce. No shit, huh? Okay, so it's Australia, but far be it for me to deny a warm fuzzy. Gone are those days when every good mommy and daddy stayed together for the sake of the kids. I met a few grandparent-age types recently who were on the outs, and that lady and gentle-folk, is called progress.Not mine, dammit, but like that's gonna stop me?
Je t'aime: French text msgs now divorce evidence. Poor old Lotharios. There's a reason this particular God created no-fault, kids. Use it, love, treat it well and I'll take you far. My favorite part about that article?
"Before, people used to stay together because it was convenient, now they get separated like it's nothing," said Mayer, the French divorce lawyer. "People no longer want to stay and be annoyed by a spouse they cannot stand."
Bless my holy self, ain't that the truth and then some.
Long-term Australian couples favor divorce. No shit, huh? Okay, so it's Australia, but far be it for me to deny a warm fuzzy. Gone are those days when every good mommy and daddy stayed together for the sake of the kids. I met a few grandparent-age types recently who were on the outs, and that lady and gentle-folk, is called progress.
Je t'aime: French text msgs now divorce evidence. Poor old Lotharios. There's a reason this particular God created no-fault, kids. Use it, love, treat it well and I'll take you far. My favorite part about that article?
"Before, people used to stay together because it was convenient, now they get separated like it's nothing," said Mayer, the French divorce lawyer. "People no longer want to stay and be annoyed by a spouse they cannot stand."
Bless my holy self, ain't that the truth and then some.
Aug. 29th, 2009
"Independence is happiness."
A bit late to the party, but my mind's been elsewhere lately.
Wherever you've set up shop this time, Libby, a belated happy birthday. Almost 90 years old and still fresh-faced as ever, darling. Divorce would hardly be wherewe it is if not for you, and let it never be said I'm not grateful. That was a damned fine year.
Wherever you've set up shop this time, Libby, a belated happy birthday. Almost 90 years old and still fresh-faced as ever, darling. Divorce would hardly be where
Aug. 27th, 2009
Aug. 25th, 2009
It's really no fun ruining the new Mister and Missus until after the vows, but oh ho, the temptation. Young Mister didn't appear to realize wifey had forged his pre-nup paperwork with the new in-laws' help. Oops!
He was terribly grateful for being tipped off, though; I have a new publishing house to look into, should I decide to go back to writing. He said something about hocking the ring and playing some high-stakes Texas Hold 'Em, but mmm, pass.A bit too close to home, thanks.
All in all, a lovely couple of days -- Seth, darling, I owe you a drink or three. Back to the real work now, I suppose. Nose to the grindstone, etc.
( [Private] )
He was terribly grateful for being tipped off, though; I have a new publishing house to look into, should I decide to go back to writing. He said something about hocking the ring and playing some high-stakes Texas Hold 'Em, but mmm, pass.
All in all, a lovely couple of days -- Seth, darling, I owe you a drink or three. Back to the real work now, I suppose. Nose to the grindstone, etc.
( [Private] )
Aug. 22nd, 2009
Aug. 20th, 2009
( [Pride] )
Tags
- a little close to home
- a little ego-stroking is a good thing
- a little love for feminism
- a new kind of church
- absinthe
- achilles
- advertising
- alcohol
- always a deal
- amaterasu
- amphitrite
- annnnnd we've outed ourselves
- anyone need a divorce?
- aphrodite
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- athena
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- beelzebub
- big t giveth back
- big t's recovery
- big tobacco
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- blog
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- building back up ≥ tearing down
- caerus
- cass
- character notes
- charon
- christian bureaucracy is shit
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- comfort food
- contract killers are flattering
- craigslist makes us feel better
- curiouser & curiouser
- daddy loves you
- daddy says shut the hell up
- damn that feels good
- death
- des is missing something important
- desmond & mona
- desmond as mona
- desmond hearts lust
- desmond loves you
- desmond's up to no good
- desperate times call for womd
- divorce fight!
- divorce in the news
- divorce letters
- divorce misses litigation
- divorced divorce is a wreck
- divorcing horse from horseman
- don't even get to see her naked
- drabble
- envy
- everything is eventual
- fashion industry
- feeling feisty
- feminism
- fun times with christians
- gambling
- glibt
- gluttony
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- greed
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- hangover
- hell is bureaucracy
- hell is full of hilarity
- hell shenanigans
- history
- hitting the road
- i got the right horse thx
- inanna
- internet
- it gets a little scary sometimes
- it's my fucking car
- it's not me it's you
- just nuke the bitch
- keep moving forward
- laszlo post
- legal services
- letters from divorce
- litigation
- lust
- madison
- making amends
- mammon
- married?!
- maybe it's time to go already
- mona tops des
- mona's a bitch
- movin' on up
- new gods v. the old guard
- ninkasi
- no one likes being stuck in caliente
- no this isn't overreacting
- nostalgia
- notes to self
- now what?
- nuclear power
- oh the gloriousness of me
- oh you fuckers i will kill you all
- ohgod that first drag
- oliver
- ooc
- or maybe not
- paparazzi
- personal blog
- pharmaceuticals
- plastic surgery
- plotting
- pool shark
- pride
- psychological warfare
- querry
- raum
- raven
- rp threads
- satan
- sato
- seth is a wonderful benefactor
- sex with patients isn't ethical?
- sharing is caring
- she travels an awful lot
- skadi
- so much for death
- some context please?
- someone call planned parenthood
- still not a eunuch
- stop fucking with the weather!
- the democratic party
- the gop
- things were better back then
- things were worse back then
- this is gonna be fun!
- this is not the sin you want
- threats? bah!
- time to love our worshipers
- tit for tat
- to-do list
- touch what's mine & get shivved
- triton
- uriel
- vague is usually bad
- valentine's day
- vegas
- wait... a daughter??
- war
- wayne
- what's a few cartons of cigarettes
- when divorces go wrong
- where in the world is mona libera?
- where we are
- where we were
- why does god hate me
- wind power
- winners can afford to be kind
- wrath
- writing challenge
- you've got to be shitting me
- zeus
Page Summary
- [OOC] List of RP Threads
- I never know the next thing in store / 'Cause you excite me like a locked door does
- (no subject)
- You've got to go straight ahead--
- You were way out of line / Went and turned it all around on me again
- "Vice is its own reward."
- (no subject)
- "We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten."
- "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
- "What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be."
- "Divorce is born of perverted morals and leads to vicious habits."
- It's Just Like Us / When We're Together, There's No Trust
- (no subject)
- And if we are reflections of the divine / We must roll with these changes
- "I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage."
- [Laszlo] Wake up on Sunday morning / Everything feels so boring / Is that where it ends
- "I wish someone would have told me that, just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married."
- [Laszlo] She's not of this Earth / And I believed we've seen the worst
- (no subject)
- (no subject)
- [Laszlo] Karma killer / Needless to say, I guess you know I hate you
- [Laszlo] "Food is the most primitive form of comfort."
- "When you belong to a minority, you have to be better in order to have the right to be equal."
- [Laszlo] Where were you when you stole my pride / Did you ever get the feeling that someone died
- (no subject)
- And when I reach up to crack the sky wide open...
- Let's have a war / Clean out this place
- Let's have a war / So you can go and die
- You know it tears my heart out when you / Flirt with danger and any stranger
- [OOC] Notes To Self
- "Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage."
- (no subject)
- (no subject)
- (no subject)
- "Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers."
- "Independence is happiness."
- But Business Is Business / And Business Runs In The Family
- (no subject)
- (no subject)
- (no subject)
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